Lonely No More
by purplepagoda
Summary: Catherine unexpectedly goes into labor, and Nick is there to help her through it. Will this be the thing that brings them together...forever?
1. I didn't know I was pregnant

"Do you want to go out with us tonight?" Nick asks.

"No," she shakes her head.

"Please," he begs her.

"Nick, I don't think so," she disagrees.

"Why not?"

"I don't feel very good," she admits.

"What's wrong?"

"The past couple of days my back has been killing me."

"Did you do something to it?"

"I don't know," she shrugs.

"Is Lindsey going to be home?"

"It's Friday night," she answers.

"Why don't I come over."

She shoots him a look.

"It's Friday night you shouldn't be at home by yourself. You should be having fun," he tells her.

"I don't know Nick," she argues.

"I'll rent a movie, and get some Chinese."

"Fine," she sighs finally giving in.

When he arrives at her house she's changed from her work clothes into a pair of sweats. He finds her sitting on the couch with a heating pad.

"I brought your favorite," he tells her.

"I'm not hungry."

"Are you sure?"

"I just don't have any appetite."

"Cath are you ok?"

"I don't know," she shrugs.

"Maybe you should go to the doctor."

"I made an appointment for Monday."

"I hate to see you spend your whole weekend feeling miserable."

"I don't have a choice," she tells him.

"Can I do anything for you?"

"No," she answers.

"Are you ok?"

"I thought that we just discussed this," she answers him.

"We did, sort of. You just seem like you're down in the dumps lately."

"I'm fine," she tells him.

"Are you sure?"

She looks at him, and decides to tell him the truth. "I've been better," she answers.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just so tired all the time. Lindsey's all grown up, she doesn't need me anymore and..."

"She does need you."

"She doesn't. She's never needed me."

"She's always needed you."

"I just... I hate being alone," she admits.

"At least you have Lindsey. Try being alone in a four bedroom house, all the time."

"Why did you get such a big place anyway?"

"Stupidity," he answers

"I don't believe that," she argues.

"I guess I just thought that I'd be settled down by now."

"I know what you mean," she tells him.

"With work I just don't have time to have a life."

"Maybe you're just holding out for the right girl," she comments.

"But at what point do you stop holding out? When do you move on with someone else?"

"When you're ready to settle for something less than you want."

"Is that what you did?"

"What?"

"With Eddie is that what you did?"

"To be honest I never really could figure out why I married Eddie."

"There had to be a reason."

"My mother hated him."

"You let your mother meet him?"

"I didn't let her meet him... but she did."

"You'll find someone," he reassures her.

"I'm not so sure," she disagrees.

"You will."

"I'm not getting any younger, and all the guys my age are looking at twenty somethings."

"You could look for a twenty something too."

"I'm looking for more than a one night stand at this point."

"I know what you mean."

"Let's watch the movie."

"Tired of talking about our non-existent love lives?" he questions.

"Yeah, a little," she admits.

After the movie is over they sit on the couch just looking at each other.

"What?" she questions him.

"Nothing," he shakes his head.

"Something on your mind?"

"Yeah, we need to get lives."

"You could have a life, you don't have to stay here with me. It's still early go out, have fun."

"You don't feel good, I'm not going to leave you here to be miserable by yourself."

"Because?"

"Because misery loves company."

"That's true," she agrees.

"So are you feeling any better?"

"No," she answers.

"Have you taken anything?"

"Ibuprofen, but it doesn't do anything."

"Have you tried a heating pad?"

"And a warm bath, I've tried everything, nothing works."

"Do you want me to rub your back?" he questions innocently.

"No..."

"I'm not trying to..."

She cuts him off, "I know, but I have to pee first," she tells him.

"Oh," he sighs as she gets off the couch.

She heads to the bathroom. He gets concerned when she doesn't come back after a few minutes. He gets off the couch, and heads to the bathroom. He finds the door closed, so he knocks. "You ok in there?" he questions.

"Do you have your phone?"

"It's in the car, it's dead. I forgot to charge it. Why do you need it? Is something wrong?"

"Yeah," she answers.

"Do you want me to get the phone?"

"I... come in here please," she tells him.

"Are you sure?" he questions.

"Yes," she answers in a panicked tone of voice.

He opens the door and looks around the room. "Where did all of that come from?" he asks.

"When I came in to pee..." she starts to explain frantically.

"It's ok, I'm going to go get the phone and call for help."

"Don't leave me," she begs.

"Ok," he agrees. "Does it hurt?" he questions.

"It feels like my insides are being ripped out," she tells him.

"That can't be good," he comments.

She doesn't say anything she doubles over in pain. "This can't be happening," she tells him.

"What can't be happening?"

"You shouldn't be in here," she tells him.

"Catherine what the hell is going on?"

"Go out to the linen closet in the hallway and get some towels," she instructs him.

"Ok," he agrees.

Before he can get to the linen closet he hears her screaming in pain. "What is going on?"

"Hurry up," she tells him.

"Ok," he agrees.

"Nick go into the kitchen and get the scissors laying on the counter."

"What do you need scissors for?" he questions.

"Please," she begs.

"Ok," he agrees.

When he returns the door is closed partway. "Do you want me to stay out here?"

"No you need to come in here now," she tells him.

He finds her in the empty bathtub. He looks at her in complete shock. "Oh," is all he can get out. Without another word he steps into action. She screams in pain again. "I got it," he reassures her. She responds with another scream. Finally her screaming stops. Nick stands over the tub with a towel, and a pair of scissors.


	2. Tough

Silence fills the room for a few seconds. Nick uses his fingers to clear the baby's airway. Finally the tiny baby starts to cry. He cuts the cord and returns his focus to Catherine.

"Are you ok?"

"Uh huh," she nods.

"You don't look good," he tells her.

"I'm fine," she argues. "Is..."

"I think that she's ok," he answers.

Catherine doesn't say anything. Nick runs out of the room and grabs the phone to dial 911. When he gets back Catherine is as white as a ghost.

"Hey stay with me," he tells her.

"I'm fine," she insists.

"Talk to me," he begs.

She just looks at him.

"I can't believe that just happened," he tries to keep her conscious.

She starts to breath heavily.

"I thought that... well, never mind," he stops noticing all the blood she's lost. "You didn't know?" he questions.

"No," she answers very weakly, "I didn't know it was even possible."

"Hey... listen to me. I need you to stay with me. Ok?"

She nods. He holds the baby up where she can see her. "Look at her. Just keep watching her. Keep your eyes open," he tells her.

She fights to stay awake. Nick hears the sirens growing closer. Within thirty seconds the paramedics are coming in the door. Nick hands the little girl to one paramedic who immediately takes her to the ambulance.

"She's lost a lot of blood," Nick tells the other two medics.

"Did she know that she was pregnant?"

"No," he answers.

"Ok."

When Catherine opens her eyes she's in a bed... but not her bed. She looks around and finds herself wearing a hospital gown with an i.v. in her arm. She takes a breath, only to realize that she's wearing oxygen. She tries to figure out why she's there. She looks to her left and sees Nick sitting in a chair next to her.

"Hey how are you doing?" he asks her.

"I don't know," she answers more than a little confused.

"You look so much better now that you're not as pale as a ghost."

"What happened?"

"You don't remember?"

"I remember bits and pieces. I don't..."

"What's the last thing that you remember?"

"I remember asking you if you had your phone."

He doesn't say anything.

"I feel like crap," she admits.

"That's not surprising," he tells her, "You've been out of it for a while."

"How long?"

"Eighteen hours," he answers her.

She starts to think about the day before. The wheels in her head start turning.

"Here drink some of this I'll be right back," he tells her handing her a glass of water with a straw.

A couple of minutes later with something for her.

"I..."

"Shh!" he tells her handing her his camera.

"Is..." she starts.

He cuts her off "Here see for yourself," he turns the camera on.

She studies the first picture. "I don't want to see this," she tells him.

"It's ok," he assures her.

She shakes her head, "No it's not."

"She's ok," he tells her.

"Then what is all the stuff she's hooked up to?" Catherine questions.

"They put her on oxygen for a little while, she had a little trouble breathing. They just ran some tests on her and they said that she's fine. Catherine she's fine."

"I want to see her," Catherine answers as she attempts to peel the medical tape off the back of her hand.

He places his hand over her I.V. "Whoa... not so fast. You're not going anywhere."

"But..."

"Catherine they had to give you five pints of blood. You don't need to go anywhere," he tells her.

"I..."

"Just sit tight," he tells her.

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. She dozes off for a minute. Nick's footsteps wake her up. She opens here eyes and sees him holding a tiny bundle. He moves toward the bed. He holds the little one securely with one arm as he uses the other to put the rail of the bed down. He very carefully takes a seat next to Catherine.

"See, she's fine," he tells her as the little girl sucks her green pacifier.

Catherine says nothing she just stares at the tiny baby. Nick very carefully maneuvers the newborn into Catherine's arms. She carefully strokes the baby's cheek. He watches her for a moment before continuing.

"They think that she was at about thirty five weeks. She only weighs four pounds, and is eighteen inches long."

Catherine doesn't respond.

"Do you want me to take her?" he asks.

She shakes her head.

"Are you ok?" he questions.

"I don't know," she answers him. "Aren't you... aren't we supposed to be at work?"

"No. I took care of it."

"What did..."

"Don't worry. I just said that it was a medical emergency, and that it was of a personal nature."

"Why do they think that..."

"I told them that I make your medical decisions. So I lied a little."

"So nobody knows that..."

"No," he answers, "So you can..."

She flaps her hand. "Don't."

"Do you want me to leave you two alone?"

"No," she replies.

"Ok," he remains in his seat.

"I didn't know," she tells him.

"I know you didn't," he soothes her.

"I didn't even think that it was possible. I'm old," she tells him.

"Not that old."

"Old enough," she responds.

"That's not important," he reminds her.

"I don't..." she doesn't finish.

Nick smiles, "I want to show you something," he tells her.

Her eyes meet his. He very gently pulls off the little girl's cap revealing a head full of thick dark hair. She smiles briefly and he puts the cap back on.

"She needs a name," he tells her.

"I..."

"It can wait," he reminds her.

She studies the little girl. The newborn spits out her pacifier and opens her eyes. The little girl's eyes lock onto Catherine.

"Hi," Catherine says softly.

"She's perfect," Nick tells her.

"You don't have any names you like?" Catherine questions.

"She's yours to name."

"But I'm asking you for your opinion."

"I like the name Finley."

Catherine's glance returns to the baby, "Finley Nicole," she says.


	3. Find Out Who Your Friends Are

"Nicole?" he questions.

She nods without saying another word about it.

"I think that I'm going to leave you two alone..."

"Don't go."

"You need to bond with her and I have a couple of errands I have to run."

"Don't leave," she begs him.

"Ok," he agrees.

He takes a seat next to her. She stares at the little girl in her arms.

"Are you sure that she's ok?" Catherine asks doubtfully.

"They said that she seems fine."

"Seems? There is a difference between seems and..."

"Catherine she's perfectly fine."

"What if she's not? What if I did something that..."

"Stop you'll drive yourself crazy thinking like that."

"How do I explain this?"

"Who says that you have to?"

"Don't you think that people are going to notice..."

"Catherine don't worry about it. I thought that you were past the point of caring what people think."

"This isn't something you can just shrug off. I had a baby... I didn't even know that I was pregnant. How does that even happen?"

He doesn't reply.

"How did I not know? I should have known. I wouldn't have..."

"Catherine just calm down. You can't live in the past," he tells her.

"I know," she says softly.

Eventually she calms down and drifts to sleep. Nick very carefully snaps a picture of Catherine sleeping with Finley curled up on her chest.

She doesn't sleep for very long. She starts to wake up when she hears crying. She feels Nick scoop the baby up, and she opens her eyes. Nick holds Finley and tries to soothe her.

"That's not going to work," Catherine tells him.

"How do you know?"

"She's hungry," Catherine answers.

"How do you know?"

Catherine motions for the baby. Nick hands the baby to her. "I'll go get the nurse," he tells her making an assumption. She chuckles quietly letting him get as far as the door. "Nick that's not necessary."

He turns around to ask why, but he finds a blanket draped over her. He walks back and starts to laugh.

"Why are you laughing?" she asks him.

"Now you're going to start being modest?" he questions.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You used to be..."

"What's your point?" she growls.

"I helped you deliver her I don't think," he points to her, "that is going to bother me."

She doesn't say anything, she just smiles at him and shakes her head, "I forgot." She tries to blow the hair out of her face. He brushes the hair out of her face and tucks it behind her ear.

"How am I going to tell Lindsey?"

Nick simply shrugs.

"And my mother... I have to..."

"You could just give them a call. Lindsey's called you half a dozen times."

"Did you talk to her?"

"No."

He grabs her phone out of her purse. He hands it to her.

"Can you dial?"

He nods and quickly dials Lindsey. He puts the phone up to Catherine's ear and she holds it with her shoulder.

"Hello?"

"Mom?"

"Yeah Lindsey..." before Catherine can finish her sentence Lindsey interrupts her.

"Where have you been? I kept calling, and you didn't answer your phone. Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," she reassures her daughter.

"So where are you?"

"Don't panic..." Catherine warns her.

"No good sentences start with don't panic," Lindsey lectures her.

"I'm in the hospital."

"What happened? Are you ok?"

"Lindsey I'm fine."

"What happened?"

"Why don't you come down here and I'll explain everything to you," Catherine suggests.

"Ok. What room are you in?" she asks.

"Uh hold on..." she looks at Nick "What room am I in?" she questions.

"Two thirty six," he answers.

"Two thirty six," she tells Lindsey.

"Ok. I'll be there soon," Lindsey assures her.

Nick takes the phone and Catherine takes a deep breath. She carefully maneuvers the baby on her shoulder in attempt to burp her.

"You can't do it that way," he tells her, "She's too little."

"How am I supposed to do it?" Catherine questions curiously.

He very carefully takes the fragile baby from her and lays her body against his arm, gently bracing her chest against his hand. He very cautiously pats her.

"You're going to be a great Dad," she tells him.

"Yeah one day," he tells her.

"Nick I can't do this on my own. I just... I can't," she admits.

"You'll figure it out, you always do."

"I know."

"Besides you've got Lindsey and your mom," he points out.

"It's not enough," she tells him.

He gives the baby back to her, and she wraps her back up. "I don't think that I can do this."

"Of course you can. Can I ask you something?"

She nods.

"Do you know who..."

She answers the question before he finishes it, "Yes and no."

"Yes and no?"

"I don't know his name," she admits shamefully.

"Oh."

"Will you help me with her?"

"I'd be glad to," he smiles.

"Nick..."

"Yeah?"

"Will you be her godfather?" she asks.

"I'd be honored," he answers.

"Lindsey should be here by now shouldn't she?" Catherine asks.

"Let me go see if I can find her," he suggests.

He leaves the room, and starts down the hallway. The elevator dings, and the doors open. Lindsey steps off the elevator.

"Hey. How is she?" Lindsey asks.

"Ok," he answers.

"What happened?"

"I'll let her explain."

"Where is she?"

"Wait," he gently grasps her arm.

"What?"

"Don't stare."

"Don't stare?"

"Don't stare at her. She looks like death warmed over. She doesn't know that, so don't bring it up."

"What's going on?"

"You should ask her."

"Nick!"

"She had to have a blood transfusion. They gave her five pints of blood."

"Ok," Lindsey nods trying to understand.

He leads her to her room. He goes into Catherine's room and announces, "Look who I found."


	4. Perfect

"Hi Mom," Lindsey smiles trying not to stare her mother in the eye. She realizes what Nick was warning her about. Catherine's eyes are sunken in, and they have dark circles under them. She looks pale, and incredible weak.

"I'm sorry that I worried you," Catherine apologizes.

"It's ok mom. I'm just glad that you're ok."

"Me too," Catherine agrees.

"What happened?"

Before Catherine can answers Lindsey notices the bundle that Catherine is holding in her arms. Lindsey moves closer and realizes that Catherine is holding a baby. Lindsey simply looks at her mother in confusion.

"You had a baby?" Lindsey questions.

Catherine simply nods.

"Why didn't you tell me that..."

Catherine cuts her off, "I didn't know."

"So...is it ok?"

"She's fine," Nick assures her.

"Can I hold her?" Lindsey asks.

"Of course," Catherine answers.

Lindsey very carefully lifts the fragile baby out of her mother's arms. She studies the baby. "She's so little," Lindsey comments.

"Four pounds six ounce," Nick announces, "And she's got lots of hair."

"Does she have a name?" Lindsey asks Catherine.

"Finley Nicole."

"That's pretty," Lindsey smiles.

Lindsey gives the baby back. "I'm glad you're ok. But I have to go home. I've got a huge project due tomorrow."

"Ok," Catherine smiles.

Lindsey leaves and Nick watches Catherine very carefully.

"How are you holding up?" he questions.

"I'm fine," she answers quickly.

"Are you sure?"

"Uh huh," she nods.

"Don't lie to me."

"I don't know how I feel about this..."

"It's ok," he reassures her.

"No it's not. She's my daughter..." she stops herself and looks at the sleeping baby.

"You're getting tired, let me take her," he suggests.

She nods, and he takes the little girl. Catherine falls asleep. When she wakes up she watches Nick hold Finley. "Hi pretty girl. What are you doing?" he asks. He looks over at Catherine and notices her watching him.

"You weren't asleep very long."

"It was long enough," she answers.

"She's got your nose," he comments.

"You don't have to stay here and take care of me," she offers him an out.

"I want to," he answers.

"Nick you don't have to," she tells him.

"I'd do anything for you," he replies.

She doesn't say a word. She just looks at him. He carefully returns the baby to her arms. She holds the baby closely, and studies her.

"Nick go home and get some rest. I'll be ok," she promises.

"I want to stay," he argues.

"Go. Get some rest, and you can come back. We'll be fine," she repeats.

He nods in agreement. He leaves the hospital, and heads home. The first thing he does is take a nice hot shower. He's sleeping within twenty minutes of stepping through his front door. He dreams of them in his sleep. He runs to the store and then heads to the hospital. He finds Catherine sleeping peacefully in her bed, with Finley no where in sight. He carefully slips in and takes a seat next to her.

He watches her as she sleeps. It wasn't fair. She had no clue how much he loved her, how much she meant to him. He had gone home and dreamed about her. He dreamed of Finley. Life was cruel. He had fallen in love with the baby the instant he laid eyes on her, and she wasn't even his. She didn't belong to him, neither of them did. That didn't matter though, because he was going to be there anyway.

She opens her eyes and looks at him, but says nothing. He scoots closer and gently puts her hand in his. "Go back to sleep," he begs her.

"I can't," she answers.

"I know you're tired, get some rest, lord knows you're going to need it with a newborn."

"Nick..."

"Yeah?" he answers.

"Do you know when I can go home?"

"Tomorrow if your blood work is ok."

"And Finley?"

"They haven't said yet."

"I don't want to leave her here."

"Catherine she'll be fine."

"I can't go home without her."

"You have to leave her here, it's what's best for her," he reasons.

"It was really bad wasn't it?"

He doesn't say anything, he just looks into her big blue eyes. "Now isn't the time," he tells her.

"Tell me," she begs.

"You lost a lot of blood. Between the time you were loaded onto the ambulance and the time you arrived here you had a seizure. They got it under control, but you had another one not long after you got here."

"Why?" she asks him as she stares into his big brown eyes.

"They think that you had pre-eclampsia, and the bleeding was caused by a placental abruption."

She doesn't say a word.

"They've got you on medication, and they've been monitoring your blood pressure."

"What does that mean for her?"

"There could be problems later, but for right now they said she's fine."

"Thank you for being here for me."

"You're welcome."

"Nick when I go home..." she stops.

"When you go home what?"

"Will you come with me?"

He nods, "Of course. I'm not going to let you do this on your own."


	5. Forever

"You ready to go home sleepyhead?" he asks as he comes in her room.

"Yes," she nods, "are you tormenting me?"

"No you get to go home today. I've got a change of clothes for you. The nurse is going to bring in discharge papers."

"Nick..."

"I've got to go take care of something. I'll be right back," he tells her.

The nurse comes in and unhooks her from the various machines. She gives her some medications and instructions. She leaves her with the discharge papers. Catherine is in the bathroom getting dressed after a very brief shower when Nick returns. She hears footsteps from inside the bathroom.

"Nicky is that you?" she calls out.

"Yeah. Are you ready?"

"Almost," she answers as she runs a comb through her wet hair. She pulls a hooded sweatshirt over her t-shirt and heads for the door.

She finds Nick waiting for her. On her bed she finds a carseat and a diaper bag.

"Are you ready?" he questions.

"She's going?" Catherine questions.

Nick turns the car seat around for her to see in. "All you have to do is fill out the birth certificate. The nurse brought it in while you were in the bathroom."

"They're really letting me take her home today?"

"Uh huh," he nods.

She sits down on the bed and begins to fill out the birth certificate. "How do you feel?" he asks her.

"Better than I look," she admits, "you should have had Lindsey send me make up."

"You look fine," he tells her.

She stops writing. "Are you done?" he asks.

She shakes her head and then hesitates. She begins to write again. His hand gently stops her. "Are you sure that you're ready to go home?"

"I am... I just don't want to fill this out," she admits.

"Why not?"

"I don't want to write none under father."

"So don't."

"What do you want me to do? Leave it blank?"

"I don't know," he shrugs.

She stares at Finley. Finley spits her pacifier out and opens her eyes. Catherine looks at her and replaces the pacifier. "The doctor said that she's got great sucking reflexes," Nick tells her.

"She's so tiny," Catherine adds.

"Put my name down," he tells her.

"What?" she questions.

"Put my name down," he repeats.

"If anything happens to me..."

"I know, put my name down."

"Are you sure?" she questions.

"I'm going to be the closet thing to a dad that she has," he points out.

"So you'll babysit whenever I ask," she jokes.

"I'd do anything for her," he answers.

"Ok," she agrees as she picks the pen up and begins to write.

He signs the document, and leaves the hospital with Catherine and Finley. He buckles Finley into the middle seat of his SUV, and then helps Catherine into the back with her. He starts up the SUV and pulls out of the parking garage.

"Nick?"

"Yeah?" he questions.

"Where did all of this come from?"

"Where did what come from?" he asks glancing in the rearview mirror.

"The carseat, the diaper bag, her clothes, the blanket..."

He cuts her off, "The store. Where else would it come from?"

"You went to the store and got all this?"

"There's this law where you can't take a baby home without a carseat."

"Yes I know that."

"She needed stuff, so I went and got her some stuff."

He stops at the red light and watches her in his mirror. She sniffs the blanket that's covering up Finley.

"Whatcha doin?" he questions.

"Smelling her."

"You don't have to do that," he reassures her.

"You don't even know why I'm smelling her," she argues.

"I washed everything in baby detergent, don't worry."

The rest of the ride is mostly silent until Nick turns down Catherine's street. "Promise you won't be mad at me."

"Why would I be mad at you?"

"Just promise," he replies.

"Nick..."

"Don't be mad," he begs.

They pull up to her house, and he helps her out of the car. He carries the carseat and she opens the door. She steps into the house and tosses her purse on the floor. She looks around the house and finds her mother.

"Hi mom," Catherine fakes a smile as Nick enters behind her, "I didn't know you were going to be here."

"Sorry," Nick apologizes.

Nick puts the carseat on the couch and Lily takes baby Finley out. "Well hello precious girl," she smiles.

"Hey Nick can you come help me in the kitchen?" Catherine questions.

He follows her into the kitchen. "I'm assuming that you told her?"

"Obviously."

"Who else did you tell?"

"No one," he answers.

"You're sure?"

"Yes," he answers.

"Ok."

Finally Lily leaves. Nick can tell how exhausted Catherine is as she burps Finley. "Go to bed, I'll take care of her," he offers.

"I'm fine," she yawns as she pats the baby.

He gets up out of his chair and walks over to her. He reaches for the baby and she shakes her head. "Come on," he begs her.

"Ok," she agrees as she wraps the baby in her tiny pink blanket.

She follows him up the stairs to her room. She stops at the top and turns to him. "Where am I going to put her?" she questions.

"Just go to your room," he advises her.

She rolls her eyes and heads into her room. She stops next to the bed and puts the little girl in the awaiting bassinet. After putting Finley down Catherine stops in front of the bed and turns to face Nick. She throws her arms around him and hugs him. He hugs her back. "I lied," she says in a whisper, "I'm tired." She lets go.

"I know," he smiles as he pulls the covers back for her. She climbs underneath them and looks at him.

"Nick?"

"Huh?"

"What are you doing?"

"Taking care of you," he answers.

"What are we doing?" she questions.

He doesn't answer. "I know where she's going to sleep, but where are you going to sleep?"

"On the couch," he answers.

"No you're not," she argues.

"I'm not sleeping on the floor."

"You can sleep with me," she tells him.

He looks at her but doesn't say anything. "Come on I know that you're tired too."

"I don't want to cross any lines," he tells her.

"Nick you're not. I love having you here. I love being taken care of."

"What are you saying?"

"I don't want to just be co-workers anymore," she answers him.

He doesn't say a word.

"But if you don't, I'll understand that."

"I do," he tells her.

"Good because you're a great diaper changer."

He just laughs.


	6. One More Day

When he opens his eyes he's laying next to Catherine. She somehow senses him and rolls over opening her eyes to look at him.

"You have to go back to work," she reminds him.

"We need to talk about that."

"Why?"

"I have to go back to work tomorrow."

"Ok."

"Are you going to be ok?"

"I'll be fine," she answers.

"I don't have to go if..."

"I can handle it. I've done this before."

"But she's so tiny," he reminds her.

"I don't think that she'll break," she jokes.

"I hope not."

"I'm going to have to go back to work at some point too," she says aloud.

"Uh huh," he agrees.

"I have to get a nanny."

"Your mom already volunteered."

"Nick..."

"Yeah?"

"I don't think that I'm ready to explain just yet."

"That's fine. I won't say a word," he agrees.

"When they ask."

"You had pneumonia and were in the hospital, but you're recovering nicely and you'll be back soon."

"Why did you have to take time off?"

"I had to take you to the hospital, and I knew you'd try to leave if I didn't stay."

"Good."

"So do you need anything before I go to work tomorrow?"

"I don't but..."

"It's covered," he tells her.

"What do you mean it's covered?"

"You have a guest bedroom...had a guest bedroom."

"Had?"

He nods.

When Lindsey gets home Catherine is sleeping. Nick is downstairs on the couch holding Finley. Lindsey drops her bag and makes her way to the couch.

"I can take her if you're arms are getting tired."

"She weighs next to nothing," he points out.

"Ok. I just want to hold her."

"You're going to get sick of her you know," he tells her.

"You are too," she quips.

"Never," he disagrees surrendering the baby to her sister.

Lindsey takes a seat next to him. "So where is mom?"

"Sleeping."

"I took care of the bathroom," she tells him.

"I completely forgot about that."

"I know. I thought that I walked in on a crime scene."

"That's not your cup of tea?"

"Not exactly."

"I'm going to go back to work tomorrow."

"Is mom really ok?"

"She seems ok."

"She's in shock. She just had a baby, that she didn't know about."

"I know."

"I'll try to keep an eye on her."

"I think she just needs time."

"You two would not make good spies," Catherine announces from the bottom step.

"Did we wake you up?" Lindsey asks.

"Yes, but it's ok."

Catherine joins them on the couch. As soon as she sits down Finley starts crying. "Like clockwork," Nick comments.

"What do you mean?" Lindsey questions.

"It's time for her to eat," Catherine answers.

"Oh," Lindsey passes the baby to Catherine.

"Nick you should probably head home so you can get some rest before you have to work."

"Yeah," he nods.

"Bye," Lindsey waves as he heads for the door.

Once he's gone she can't help but ask. "So..."

"So what?"

"Is there something going on between you and Nick?"

Catherine takes a moment to come up with an answer.

"She isn't his is she?" Lindsey questions.

"No, she's not," Catherine answers.

"But?"

"It's complicated Lindsey," she responds.

"Mom I think I can handle it," Lindsey reassures her, "What's going on between the two of you."

"He's just..." she grapples for words to finish.

"Are you interested in him? I mean now isn't really the best time to start a relationship is it? You just had a baby I don't think that..."

"Why does it matter?"

"You are still his boss aren't you?"

"Yes," she nods, "what is your point?"

"If he's just your friend, and nothing more you've sure asked a lot of him the past few days."

"I know," she admits.

"Do you even know what the two of you are doing?"

Catherine doesn't say a word.

"Mom I know that you have feelings for him. And I know he has feelings for you. So at this point I don't understand why you'd try to pretend that you don't. I know you have to try to act professionally. When do you draw the line between professionalism and personal happiness? Most guys would have run away as fast as they could."

"It's complicated."

"Why does it have to be so complicated to just admit how you feel?"

"I'm his boss. I've known him for a long time, and I don't want to screw this up. You're absolutely right this probably isn't the time to start a relationship, I'm an emotional wreck. I don't want to start something with him and have it not work, because I wouldn't want to lose him as a friend."

"If you wait the timing will never be right, you're always going to find an excuse, because you don't want to get hurt," Lindsey points out.

"You're right, but it's not just me I'm worried about."

"He's not going to walk away when things get tough, I think that he's already proved that. He's not Dad."


	7. Have I Told You Lately

Catherine is on the couch watching T.V. and holding a sleeping Finley. She smells a familiar smell and calls for Lindsey.

"Lindsey?"

Lindsey comes in from the kitchen.

"Yeah?"

"I need diapers."

"What do you need me for?"

"I don't know where they are," she admits.

"Haven't you changed her diaper?"

"Not yet," Catherine answers.

"What do you mean not yet?"

"Nick changed her."

"Every time?"

Catherine thinks back and then nod, "Yes."

"Come on I'll show you where they are."

Catherine carefully gets up off the couch trying not to disturb Finley. She follows Lindsey up the stairs. Lindsey stops at the guest bedroom and opens the door. Catherine follows her in and Lindsey points her to the diapers. Catherine doesn't say a word she just stares at the room full of baby things. Lindsey rolls her eyes and scoops Finley out of Catherine's arms. She grabs a diaper and wipes. She lays Finley on the changing table. She carefully unwraps her, and then carefully unsnaps the tiny pink sleeper. She manages to change the diaper without waking Finley up. She redresses and re-swaddles the baby and hands her back to Catherine.

"Earth to mom," Lindsey says.

"Sorry. I didn't know that..."

"I didn't do anything. He did all of this. I'm going to go throw this diaper away," she walks past Catherine.

4 A.M. the following morning. Catherine sits in her bed attempting to burp Finley when the phone rings. She answers it on the first thing.

"Willows," she answers automatically.

"Did I wake you up?" Nick answers.

"No," she answers, "I'm just burping Finley."

"Is she ok?"

"Yeah," Catherine reassures him.

"Are you doing ok?"

"Now that I know where the diapers are I am," she answers.

"Oh I'm sorry I totally forgot."

"Don't be sorry. You didn't have to do all of that."

"It wasn't a big deal."

"Nick..."

"Yeah?"

"Nothing," she changes her mind.

"I've got to go. I'll see you later," he promises.

"Bye," she hangs up.

Instead of going back to sleep right away Catherine sits in her bed with the lamp on and just stares at Finley. The tiny little girl sleeps peacefully as Catherine holds her. She's got dark hair, and big blue eyes. She's got a tiny nose, and perfectly symmetrical lips. Finley places her long fingers on her cheek as she sleeps. "Finley," Catherine whispers. Her eyes flutter open for a moment.

Catherine turns off the light and lays down. She lays Finley on her chest and rubs her tiny head. That's when it finally hit her. This was real. This little girl was real.

She begins thinking to herself. _This isn't a dream. She's real. I'm too old for this. I'm too old to have a baby. A tiny, helpless little girl. She looks like a sad little doll. This is all my fault. I should have know that something wasn't right. I should have known that I was pregnant. How stupid could I be? What if she's not ok? What if something is wrong with her and they just don't know it yet? I did everything wrong. It's no wonder she was early, and so tiny. It will be a miracle if she end up ok. I did everything wrong. I drank, and worked... I worked a lot, and ate all the wrong things. _

_Can I really do this? What am I thinking? I don't have time to have a baby. She'll be with a babysitter all the time. She won't even know who I am. What do I tell everyone at work? 'Oh by the way I didn't know I was pregnant, because I thought I was menopausal. I was wrong.' What if something happens and she needs blood? What if I'm not her blood type? What if she needs bone marrow or a kidney? I don't even know what her father's name is. What kind of a person am I? I can't even tell her who her father is. What if she asks about him? Then what am I supposed to tell her. Please let this be a dream. Please let me wake up. I don't want to do this. _

_I should put her in the bassinet. I don't want to crush her. What if I fall asleep and don't _

_hear her? What if she stops breathing. When was the last time I was certified in CPR? How do you do CPR on a baby? What if she chokes? _Catherine gets out of bed and returns Finley to the bassinet. She then climbs in bed an tries to fall back to sleep. She is eventually successful. In her sleep she dreams.

_Catherine is sitting around a table with cake in front of her. On one end of the picnic table is a mountain of presents. On the other end Lindsey is snapping pictures. Catherine looks down at the table. She finds a cake with four unlit candles. She looks up. Across from her sits a petite dark headed little girl. The little girl wears a pink t-shirt that says 'Birthday Girl'. The little girl smiles at her. She reveals perfect teeth with her toothy grin. She stares at Catherine with big blue eyes. Her dark spiral curls stop somewhere between her chin and her shoulders. A portion of it is pulled back in a clip on top of her head. "Mommy," she says softly, "Did daddy get lost?" "Found it," a familiar voice answers. Nick appears with a lighter to light the candles. "Daddy hurry up," she begs. _

And with a cry Catherine is pulled back into reality. She opens her eyes and flips on the light. She glances at the clock and then jumps out of bed. She scoops Finley up. "What's wrong? It's not time for you to eat again." The baby wails louder and louder. Catherine checks her diaper and tries to pat her back to sleep. She tries to feed her but she gets no where. The baby continues to wail. Catherine tries to give her a pacifier, but she spits it out. _I hate crying babies, _she thinks to herself. She looks at Finley.

"What do you want?" she questions, "Huh?" Catherine takes a seat on her bed. She faces the door with her feet touching the ground. She lays Finley on her lap. "Shh! You're ok," she says softly feeling rusty. "I'm sorry I don't know what you want," she apologizes. And just like that the little girl stops crying.

Nick stops by after work just like he had promised. He finds Catherine in the living room vacuuming. He manages to sneak up on her. She flips off the vacuum and spins around to find him standing right behind her.

"I didn't know you were standing behind me."

"I know. How was your day?"

"Fine. Yours?"

"Long," he answers.

"You look tired."

"So do you. Did she keep you up all night?"

"No. She wakes up to eat, and that's about it."

"Where is she?"

"Lindsey is holding her captive."

"I'm not surprised," he admits.

"Nick I really appreciate everything you've done for me."

"But?"

"But are you really sure that you want to get involved with me? I'm a mess."

"I don't care," he answers.

"You could do so much better."

"No I couldn't," he argues.

"I have a lot of baggage."

"I don't care."

"I've got a teenaged daughter, and a newborn."

"Are you trying to scare me off? Because it's not going to work. I've wanted this for a long time."

"Are you sure that you want me?" she questions.

He looks in her blue eyes. He brushes a stray hair out of her eyes. "Why do you think that I deserve better than you?"

"Because you do. You deserve someone who can give you everything you want."

"What makes you think that you can't do that?"

"Don't you want kids of your own?"

"Catherine all I want is you. All I've ever wanted is you. Everything else is a bonus."

"You're really willing to be a parent to a child that isn't yours? You have to understand where I'm coming from. Nick I am so tired of relationships that last a week. I need something more stable, I need a relationship that isn't based solely on sex."

"Ok."

"I don't think..."

"Ok," he repeats. "I've always had feelings for you. I just never thought that you had any for me. The other night when I came over... I could tell that I was wrong."

She opens her mouth to argue but he stops her. "I'm looking for long term. I'm looking for a commitment. And the second that I laid eyes on Finley all I could think about was wishing that she was mine."


End file.
